Chronicles of Hypochondria, Part 1: Spiritual Malaise

For the past few months, I’ve been mostly happy. However, a few things happened that caused me to become briefly bummed out. I broke up with a boy. I had a hard week at work (either paid, or not paid). Perhaps an argument or two with friends and loved ones. (I don’t remember, because I do my best to forget all fights with friends and loved ones as soon as they’ve happened.)

The ratio of good days to bad days was still pretty positive. I’d say I had maybe one really lousy day per month. That works out to a 29:1 good-to-crappy day ratio.

Anyway, I have the flu now, so I’m bummed out again. This is a particularly bad flu for the old psyche, according to Ma Smash, who had it last week. At one point, she reports, she decided that she was a terrible fraud and a bad person, and also likely to be fired. She is a nurse, and for a living, saves lives of extremely sick and, I might add, sometimes rather unpleasant people. She’s done this job for almost 20 years now, at the same hospital, and everyone loves her. Clearly, someone who works in the media, saves no one’s life, and keeps a blog can’t be expected to withstand an emotion-crippling flu of this type.

So here’s what I’ve decided to do. I hate doing things halfway, so I’m going to embark on an epic bout of blueness. This will last two days, and will be over with by the time my friend’s metal band plays on Thursday night. (By which point, my flu better be over with, as well, or I’ll know the reason why. She said menacingly.)

I’ll let you know how it goes.

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10 thoughts on “Chronicles of Hypochondria, Part 1: Spiritual Malaise

  1. Happy blue-ing, Sis. I totally understand needing to wallow in the mire before you crawl your way out of it. I’ve done it many times myself. Last year alone, I think it did it at least four times. Most of these episodes involved cookie dough, a bag of Reeses Peanut Butter Cups and a darkened bedroom. I always emerged feeling better, if also slightly nauseous.

  2. I have been to the pit of despair and know it well. Take your comforter, intrepid soul, and plumb its depths.

    And let us know if you need any OJ while you’re down there.

  3. Having an awesome-nurse-mom succumb to the blueflu is enough to shake one’s confidence in recovery. My mom used to tell us “if you’re not puking or you can move it (the bones), you’re well enough to go to school.” Did you get that too?

    Side note: I saw the sun in Oregon yesterday and it was 65 degrees above freezing!

    Oh, and your blog is very life-saving to those of us who don’t think anyone understands the 29ish, cheese-eating, binge-drinking us.

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