Because You TALKED!

If you’re feeling low, and you live in New York, all you need to do is hail a cab and cross a bridge from one borough to another. This works best if you’re going from Brooklyn to Manhattan. When you see water beneath you and lights above you, it’s hard to feel bad. Six dollars later, you’re home and in the meantime, you’ve seen more than most people do on a guided tour.

When I got out of the cab this evening, there were about 400 kids from New Jersey gathered outside my apartment building. They weren’t waiting for me, or anything. (I pay my bills.) They were smoking outside the nightclub downstairs. One girl was beautiful and had hair like Priscilla Presley when she married Elvis. She was screaming to her friend who was riding his skateboard down the street.

“I give you a 9.6, MUTHAFUCKA!” she yelled.

“What’s ‘at?”

“9.4, because YOU TALKED!”

I’m going to start docking people as well. Thank God for the B&T crew. I never knew what luxuries I deserved.

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