I’ve been going to the gym lately, in an attempt to keep my butt from spreading into the exact shape of my chair, and also because it’s good for you and blah blah blah. But mostly, because I’m vain. But here’s the thing: Now that I know I’m going to be going to the gym at lunch most days, I don’t do my hair anymore. There are a lot of sloppy ponytails and headbands and buns these days. So basically, in an attempt to make myself cuter, I have adopted a hobby that precludes ever doing anything about my hair. I’m not sure this works. Maybe I should go the Homer Simpson route and just get the lipo.