Because it’s Valentine’s Day, and I already feel like excrement, I decided to look at million-dollar condos online. OK, that’s not true. What’s true is that Gawker linked to Curbed with linked to this loathsome million-dollar development. Please take a minute to let the model apartment scroll by, so that you don’t miss the Mysterious African Lady Dining Room Chairs. I swear to God I could not sleep with furniture like that in my apartment. For one thing? Racist. For another thing? Creep-dot-pee, my pals.