Jennie Smash

By

Jen Hubley Luckwaldt

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WTF?

Because it’s Valentine’s Day, and I already feel like excrement, I decided to look at million-dollar condos online. OK, that’s not true. What’s true is that Gawker linked to Curbed with linked to this loathsome million-dollar development. Please take a minute to let the model apartment scroll by, so that you don’t miss the Mysterious…

Because it’s Valentine’s Day, and I already feel like excrement, I decided to look at million-dollar condos online. OK, that’s not true. What’s true is that Gawker linked to Curbed with linked to this loathsome million-dollar development. Please take a minute to let the model apartment scroll by, so that you don’t miss the Mysterious African Lady Dining Room Chairs. I swear to God I could not sleep with furniture like that in my apartment. For one thing? Racist. For another thing? Creep-dot-pee, my pals.

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Responses to “WTF?”

  1. Eric

    Christ! Those chairs will definitely come alive at night and come to bite you in the neck.

    Reply
  2. Anonymous

    Happy Valentine’s Day, JennieSmash!

    Reply
  3. Anna

    I couldn’t sleep at night knowing that they eyes of the chairs are watching. The wheelbarrow chair is also a bit odd for me.

    Reply
  4. Anonymous

    How exactly are baby highchairs with nubian faces racist? I would think the rug rats would find them fun to sit in. Are you creeped out by Bernard the Pink Dinosaur and Sponge Bob Smelly Pants too?

    Reply
  5. Anonymous

    just because the character has brown skin, doesn’t make it racist. What are you trying to say? That there’s no way a black person would own that home and want their kid’s toys to represent people of color?

    Reply
  6. Anonymous

    just because the character has brown skin, doesn’t make it racist. What are you trying to say? That there’s no way a black person would own that home and want their kid’s toys to represent people of color?

    Reply
  7. jayman

    I like the idea of the lady in the white dress casually tip-toeing along atop a $10,000 dollar leather couch.

    Reply
  8. jayman

    On second thought, perhaps she’s on the window ledge behind the $10,000 leather couch?

    Reply
  9. Megs

    Oh for Chrissakes, no one is saying that a black person couldn’t own that apartment. First of all, NO ONE I know could own that apartment. Second of all, those chairs have the same creepiness of the black-face cookie jars and salt-and-pepper shakers I’ve seen in gas stations in the south, even if they aren’t of the same style. Third of all, those chairs are offensive to everyone, not because of their color or possible connotations, but because they are butt-ugly.

    Reply
  10. Anonymous

    Jennie Smash is great, but this post was off. The only off thing about the chairs was the observation that it was racist.

    Reply
  11. Jennie SMASH!

    Oh boy. Listen, people. I don’t know when the anonymous portion of the readership got so sensitive, but it’s called “a joke” because it isn’t “serious.”

    Reply
  12. Jennie SMASH!

    Oh boy. Listen, people. I don’t know when the anonymous portion of the readership got so sensitive, but it’s called “a joke” because it isn’t “serious.”

    Reply
  13. jayman

    In the attempt to interject a bit of perspective into this discussion, the phrase was “wouldn’t” … not “couldn’t”.

    Reply
  14. Anonymous

    Wow how self indulgent your crap is. I guess you have not ever considered that the world doesnt revolve around your vagina. Even sadder the other useless morons that actually pass some comment on your trite words.

    Reply
  15. Jennie SMASH!

    Actually, the world revolves around my clitoris, but you keep trying, son. I’m sure you’ll get it eventually.

    Reply
  16. Anonymous

    Is a clitoris with it’s own field of gravity difficult to find? Obviously the boys are drawn to it, like satellites, constantly circling, sending e-mails of their wangatude…

    Reply
  17. Solomon Grundy

    Uh, they seem kinda racist to me, too. I’d like one of these anonymous people to explain to me how they’re different from Mammy salt n pepa shakers.

    Reply
  18. Solomon Grundy

    And I seldom call things like this racist, because I think it’s a term that should be used more judiciously. But dude, at the very least they’re bizarrely exoticizing, in the context of that bourgie apartment.

    Reply

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