Jennie Smash

Most of my friends are crazy, and this is not an accident.

As a sorta nutty person myself, I only feel really comfortable around the neurotic. If someone seems too self-confident across the board, I tend to think they’re either serial killers or really, really stupid. How could you live like that, all puffed up and secure, unless you weren’t really paying attention?

A few things I’ve heard lately from people/said myself, that underscore our (hopefully delightful) neurosis and self-absorption:

The Donut: “Is it nice outside?”

Me: “Yes! Gorgeous! I’m taking a walk through the EV right now.”

The Donut: “Can’t you stop pressuring me for even a second?“

And:

Mrs. Piddlington: “So what will you write about on [such-and-such a theroretical project]?”

Me: “I don’t know.”

Mrs. Piddlington: “You must have some ideas.”

Me: “Must I? Must I really?”

Mrs. Piddington: –

Me: “Do I really have ideas, Mrs. P? Am I an ‘idea-having’ kind of person? I’m just not sure anymore.”

Mrs. Piddlington: “Are you taking your medicine?”

The other day I was at a party and a friend I hadn’t seen for a couple of weeks asked me if I was happy since moving to New York. And I said, oh, yes, delightfully so, etc. He then looked at me very seriously and said, “Are you sure? Because it’s OK if you aren’t.”

So suggestible am I, that I actually had to take a minute to figure out if I was lying to myself. So there you go, advertisers: I am your target audience. Make of my brain what you will.