Jennie Smash

I just burned my thumb making myself microwave macaroni and cheese at 5 a.m. I assume there are more ghetto injuries than this, but I can’t think of what they might be. I also assume that this will seem really funny in ten years when I’m getting the kids ready for preschool, etc.

“Remember the days when I had time to drunkenly injure myself with noodles?” I’ll say. Oh, it will be hilarious.

Seriously, I think we might have to amputate.