Kibbles ‘n Bits ‘n Bits ‘n … Ew

Jennie Smash: Do you know what actually happened to that face transplant woman?

Ma Smash: She got a face transplant?

Jennie Smash: No, before that.

Ma Smash: No! What?

Jennie Smash: She tried to kill herself by taking an overdose of sleeping pills. And then her dog thought she was dead, so he tried to eat her face.

Ma Smash: No! Ew! Really?

Jennie Smash: Really, really. Dogs are predators, you know. Doesn’t matter how much they love you. If you’re dead, you’re lunch. And they start with your face, it seems. I guess it’s chewy, or something.

Ma Smash: Maybe he was just trying to wake her up, and he got carried away.

Jennie Smash: He ate her nose, lips, and chin.

Ma Smash: Oh, dear. Well, I guess it’s true then. You can’t believe anything you see on TV.

Jennie Smash: ?

Ma Smash: All this time, I thought Lassie was trying to tell Timmy’s folks that he was in the well. Now it seems like maybe she was just waiting for him to float to the top.

Published by Jen Hubley Luckwaldt

I'm a freelance writer and editor.

3 thoughts on “Kibbles ‘n Bits ‘n Bits ‘n … Ew

  1. im gonna go ‘glass half-full’ here and pretend the dog was just really really enthsistically trying to wake her up.

  2. Wow. And I just got a dog. Luckily, at least, Luke’s teeth aren’t exposed enough yet to be able to eat a face. Still, after that story, I’m glad he sleeps in a crate at night.

  3. You just think he sleeps in a crate at night.

    Remember that ugly guy in the basement in Goonies? The Fratelli’s slept good, too.

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