The Donut: Jen? I have a deadline and I can’t do anything. I hate writing.
Jennie Smash: That’s because writing is loathsome.
The Donut: It is!
Jennie Smash: It’s terrible. I don’t know why we ever thought this was a good idea.
The Donut: I don’t know either.
Jennie Smash: I hate it. I’d rather have a nap.
The Donut: Me too!
Jennie Smash: Or eat a whole bag of cheese.
The Donut: I did both those things today.
Jennie Smash: Me too.
The Donut: The sleep-to-work ratio, especially, is not so bueno.
Jennie Smash: Amen.
The Donut: Can you think of any reason why we do this at all?
Jennie Smash: Despite the fact that it’s loathsome and impossible, it’s our favorite thing in the world?
The Donut: No.
Jennie Smash: Oh. Well then there’s my other theory.
The Donut: What’s that?
Jennie Smash: Writing is our version of secret cutting. It lets the pain out, and then you’re so relieved when it’s over.
The Donut: That’s really sick.
Jennie Smash: Yes.
The Donut: We belong in the hospital.
Jennie Smash: Yes.
Jennie Smash 
You are both sick. But I feel the same way about auditioning. It’s the worst thing in the world, but after it’s over, even if I don’t get into the play I auditioned for, I feel cleansed. Artists are sick, sick people. It’s like we need to torture ourselves to feel alive, or even just to remain sane.
Also, I don’t know who “The Donut” is, but I love him/her.
Didn’t know that “bag” was a unit of measurement for cheese…cube, wheel, tube maybe…but “bag”?
See you on New Years Lady Smash.
Masochism becomes art.