Now, Pull Out All Your Eyebrows…

I had a horrible dream last night. Christina Aguilera was giving me makeup tips … and they seemed like a good idea.

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11 thoughts on “Now, Pull Out All Your Eyebrows…

  1. I pulled out a patch in the middle of my right eyebrow when I had my wisdom teeth out and was on codeine. I thought: my eyebrows are too bushy, and since i can’t feel anything, i will thin them out. Except I kept pulling from the same spot.

  2. You might be spending so much time worrying about keeping up appearances and social status that it’s causing you to neglect your inner needs. And really, you’re not so sure that’s a bad thing.

    Your recent time back home probably heightened your insecurity about making it on your own in the big city.

    My prescription: Get dolled up and go give your liver a workout.

  3. I think Peter Griffin summed up Christina Aguilera best…

    Peter Griffin: You sound terrible. You look like if I touched you, you’d be sticky, and frankly, you smell bad. You’re pretty much offensive to all 5 senses.

    Christina Aguilera: That’s only 4.

    Peter Griffin: …Y’know how a smell sometimes gets stuck in the back of your throat and you taste it? That’s you: Truly disgusting, like salty garbage.

    CA: [licks armpit] Yeah, I can totally taste it!

  4. Yeah, she pretty much looks like a bow-legged herpe. But maybe now that she’s married she’ll lady-up a little. I had a dream that my teeth fell out. I have this dream often.

  5. I had a recurring dream a few years ago that my teeth fell out too. I looked it up, and I think it means something about insecurity about one’s appearance, if I remember correctly. Or it’s a death omen. But it seems like everything in dreams is a death omen. So I’m going for the first one.

  6. Are you kidding? All dreams are about sex and your father’s penis. Christina telling you to pluck out your eyebrows is really your anxiety about your electra complex in the form of a mother figure (someone you always believe and do exactly as she says) who is clearly trying to make you feel insecure about yourself so you won’t be attractive to your father any longer. *Nelly puts her Freud action figure into a thoughtful, yet all knowing, position*

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