Yesterday, I went to the doctor, as I do, and discovered that I had lost four pounds. Four pounds! This is entirely because I just broke up with someone, you know. I always gain weight in relationships, even if it seems like I’m eating just the same and exercising and all that. I blame hormones.
My friend Derek once said that he thinks that this pattern has a lot to do with the on-off nature of many relationships among young (he’s 24) people these days. When couples are together, they pack on the pounds. The girl might be fine with this, but the guy, being a guy, gets all grossed out at her fattitude and breaks up with her. She then cries and cries and loses like 37 pounds, and then she’s all hot and emaciated again and the dude’s like, whoa! My mistake. Let’s get back together.
It strikes me upon looking at that paragraph that Derek might actually be a very angry person, and I’d never realized that before.