Jennie Smash

By

Jen Hubley Luckwaldt

·

Studies Show Average Cat Has 6.87 Lives

Ian Grey Steele:* I realized that my cat is like 12.JennieSmash: Oh NO.Ian Grey Steele: Which means he’s not long for this world.JennieSmash: I thought cats lived to be like 25.Ian Grey Steele: Whoa.Ian Grey Steele: No.Ian Grey Steele: 18 is super old.JennieSmash: I’ve told you, I don’t know these things.Ian Grey Steele: I mean…

Ian Grey Steele:* I realized that my cat is like 12.
JennieSmash: Oh NO.
Ian Grey Steele: Which means he’s not long for this world.
JennieSmash: I thought cats lived to be like 25.
Ian Grey Steele: Whoa.
Ian Grey Steele: No.
Ian Grey Steele: 18 is super old.
JennieSmash: I’ve told you, I don’t know these things.
Ian Grey Steele: I mean 20 possibly.
JennieSmash: The hubleys hate all living creatures.
Ian Grey Steele: 25 I guess is theoretically possible but that’s probably one in 100.
JennieSmash: These are really the first cats I’ve had any interaction with.
JennieSmash: It’s like I just discovered cats.
Ian Grey Steele: You’re how old?
JennieSmash: 29
JennieSmash: But it’s cool, cuz I’m a human. So I have some time yet.

* Not his real name. Also? Friends of mine? When I ask you for a pseudonym, I’m not kidding around. So choose wisely.

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Responses to “Studies Show Average Cat Has 6.87 Lives”

  1. Caryn

    I only got to know cats when I was about 22 and moved to New York. Growing up, my dad was allergic to all furry pets. No one had pets in college. So when I graduated and made friend with some cat owners, I thought, “How fun! A cute, fuzzy friend! And I don’t have to walk it! I want one!” A few months after I got my cat Ozzie, I realized he had nipples and I freaked out just a smidge. I didn’t know if boy cats had nipples and whether I had been sending mixed gender messages to my feline. Another time, I caught my neutered male humping my unneutered male kitten … very puzzling. I mean, I know he’s cute and all, but still … Ohhhh, these animals!

    Reply
  2. honeykbee

    Is that pronounced “eye-ann” or “ee-in”? You know, just for the record.

    Reply
  3. jayman

    I just adopted a kitten. I had no idea what I was getting into. Cats take care of themselves. I’ve had cats before, and we got along great. Food, litter, hugs, they’re set.

    Buffy, tho, is only about 3 and a half weeks old. She’s not quite weaned and thinks that cat litter is pretty tasty.

    Reply
  4. Anonymous

    As George Carlin said, “When you buy a pet you buy a tragedy.”

    Reply
  5. amberance

    My cat is a good girl usually, it’s just that she’s forever trying to steal my chicken. Oh, and she’s also the boss of me.

    Reply

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