Friendster Sucks, Long Live Friendster

I cannot believe Friendster sold my ass out. All this time, I’ve been stalking exboyfriends and former college roommates and unsuspecting coworkers, thinking my secrets were safe. And now, yes now, they have revealed my secrets. I feel so betrayed.

My feelings of betrayal are nothing compared to my pal J, though, who maybe had the smallest nervous breakdown on Friday.

“Huh,” One of our coworkers said. “Looks like you can see who has viewed your account on Friendster.”

“Wait,” J said. “What do you mean?”

“If you go to Friendster? And click on this link? You can see who viewed you.”

J spun around in her chair. “For how long?”

“Um, I dunno, it looks like I can see the last fifty people who viewed me, so…”

“No. For how long? HOW FAR BACK DOES IT GO? OH MY GOD. I’m going to need surgery. I’m going to have to change my name. I’m going to have to take off my fingerprints with acid. How could they do this to me? I’m going to delete my profile.”

“That might not help,” I offered. “I mean, it takes a couple minutes for it to disappear and–“

“SHUT UP! IT WILL HELP. OH MY GOD.” She started clicking frantically. “There. I’m gone.”

“Except that it might take a couple minutes–“

“WAHHHH!” She put her head down on her keyboard. “I’m going to have to join the Witness Protection Program.”

Meanwhile, if you’ve been looking at Friendster lately, and you’ve seen my profile under your stalker button, well, I think you’re kind of cute. Is that OK? Also, that totally wasn’t me waiting behind the garbage can outside your apartment building.

Published by Jen Hubley Luckwaldt

I'm a freelance writer and editor.

10 thoughts on “Friendster Sucks, Long Live Friendster

  1. Okay, so you just freaked me out. I ran (metaphorically) to Friendster and looked to see who checked me out. I can’t deal with this. However, I found this: Yes, I would like to view profiles anonymously and not show up on other users’ “Who’s Viewed Me” list. Hooray!

  2. I’m already super paranoid on matters such as these. I am now afraid to google people for fear they will be able to track me. And what of the reverse, what if no one ever views/stalks you? Argh.

  3. wow, I’m glad I switched the 5 minutes I have to deal with that kind of activity over to myspace. friendster is EVIL

  4. …except I’m going to go check it right now and see who’s been stalking me while I’ve been elsewhere! HA

  5. SMASH, does tihs mean that your stalking on friendster is going to come to an end!! say it isnt so smash, but if so, maybe you can do your primary stalking on match or maybe myspace!

  6. :: giggling :: That’s why I re-joined Friendster. ‘Cause I’m a glutton for punishment that wants to see who’s ignoring my ass…

  7. i was feelin’ mighty betrayed as well and posted my indignation on my blog here. seems that friendster hasn’t totally sold out the stalkers–you can change your settings so you can view people’s profiles anonymously. not that there’s anything creepy about that, but, you know…

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