Better Living Through Chemistry

Maybe you’re not a fan of taking pills for things, and that’s OK. I certainly know plenty of people who feel the way you do. Hippie people, who wear burlap and don’t shave their pits. But that’s fine. Myself, I am a big fan of better living through chemistry, and here’s why: I am totally fucking nuts.

Without some form of medication, the following things would be impossible for me:

1) Flying (Xanax).
2) Exercising (Antihistimine, Ibuprofen).
3) Visiting friends with cats (Antihistimine).
4) Not driving myself and everyone around me nuts (Celexa).
5) Sleeping (Melatonin, Sominex).

There are many more. But those are the big ones.

I was thinking about the medication issue this morning, because I had to take a Sominex last night in order to sleep, and this morning when I woke up I discovered that I had become profoundly mentally disabled and physically inept. In the space of about fifteen minutes I dropped six things and bent my right thumbnail back, so that a charming crescent of blood formed right under the nail. Cute!

Still, the nine hours of sleep were worth it.

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One thought on “Better Living Through Chemistry

  1. Wellbutrin (anti-crazy)
    Tri-Levelin (anti-baby)
    Dramamine (anti-puke for just about anything that moves)

    I should look into your sleepy drugs too, though, since I can’t stay asleep for more than 20 minutes at a time.

    My hippy friends won’t even take asprin when they have a frikkin headache. Crazy people.

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