Jennie Smash

If you haven’t seen this movie yet, please tell your boss that you’re experiencing intestinal distress* and go out and see it NOW NOW NOW.

If you haven’t heard of “The Aristocrats”, here’s the lowdown: Basically, just about every comedian you’ve ever seen on TV, and some you haven’t, tell the same horribly dirty, not really all that funny, joke. For about an hour and a half. And it’s hysterical. Also educational. Here’s what I learned:

1) Bob Saget? Wicked fucking funny, dude. Also, a dirty, dirty motherfucker who is going straight to hell, Do Not Pass Go, Do Not Collect $200.

2) Eddie Izzard? Loves the ganj. Also, he is still hysterically funny, I don’t care what you heard in the reviews. He just doesn’t tell jokes, so much, or, if he does, he tells them in French and it takes 20 minutes to set them up. I can’t wait until we become best friends and he gives me makeup tips and lends me his little kimono. It’s going to be fantastic.

3) Gilbert Gottfried? Not annoying, when he has sufficiently annoying material. It’s like this horrible joke was his antimatter, and he cancelled himself out. All of sudden he was hysterical. It makes no sense to me either. Usually, I hate his whole, “Now I will hold you hostage by being horrible until you laugh, so laugh, motherfucker, or it will get worse” kind of humor.

* I used to do this all the time at my first crappy publishing job out of college. My boss thought I had the weakest intestines in the world.**

** People who use footnotes need flogging.