Definitely K-Mart

OK, I know I keep telling you all that such-and-such a thing is my Favorite Thing About New York City, but this time, I’m not kidding, I’ve figured out what my favorite thing is, for reals. It’s all the fucking crazy people.

This morning on the subway, there was this guy who was sniffing his fingers and rocking back and forth in his seat. One at a time, he’d sniff them, in order from left to right. I watched him for three stops, and he made the circuit twice. There was clearly a whole system for finger-sniffing that I had been unaware of — until today.

And then there’s this story, courtesy of my pal Smyres:

i forgot to tell you about the other incident on the A train yesterday. there was this middle-aged jewish man on the train and he was about half way down from me in the car and i was facing his direction so i could see him really well. and he holds up this little plastic sandwich bag and goes really loud to the whole train: I HAVE A SPIDER IN THIS BAG. IS ANYONE GETTING OFF AT THE NEXT STOP SO YOU CAN LET HIM OUT? ANYONE? IS ANYONE GETTING OFF? I HAVE A SPIDER IN THIS BAG.

i started laughing right away. then a couple stops later these two little black kids got on with an older brother or something and they stood right next to him and i could tell he was gonna talk to them. and he goes: HEY! YOU KIDS LIKE BUGS? then the kids did this little break dancing routine and when they went around collecting money after the guy tried to give them a tube of Ritz crackers.

You must love a city in which merely riding to work provides so much fodder for conversation.

Published by Jen Hubley Luckwaldt

I'm a freelance writer and editor.

One thought on “Definitely K-Mart

  1. I lived in Manhattan for roughly two years and this was five years ago but my god, I have never loved a city so much in my whole life!

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