Cathy: So how’d it go?
Me: Really well.
Cathy: What’s the matter?
Me: He seems really nice.
Me: Really smart. He’s read books I’ve never even heard of. I felt like a moron.
Cathy: Oh, you’re not a moron.
Me: He was all, “Here is my series of artwork based upon the works of William Carlos Williams,” and I was all, “I like to write little stories about my adventures on … the subway.”
Cathy: I’m sure it’s fine.
Cathy: What’s the matter with you?
Me: Oh, nothing. I’m just trying to figure out what will be wrong with him. Like, is he married? Gay? Does he have, like, six illegitimate kids or dozens and dozens of other girlfriends?
Cathy: No, seriously. What is the matter with you?
Me: I’m betting on the dozens and dozens of other girlfriends.
Me: I bet they all play an instrument and are at least nine feet tall.
Me: I bet they’re all pole dancers and have 20/20 vision.
Cathy: ‘Kay, know what? Pop a doll.