You know what you should do right now? Go down to Canal Street and get knocked right the fuck over by an insane runaway tourist and her insane huge-ass motherfucking ginormous wheelie rollie suitcase. No, no: Listen. It’s awesome. Do it. Do it NOW.
Bonus points if you happen to be wearing a skirt and manage to flash your lady parts to a couple of Chinese toddlers and their new-to-this-country-and-now-terrified Moms. You should also yell, “FUCK!” at the top of your lungs, like that will help anything.