When I was a kid, I used to think sometimes about how much I’d like to be able to have a day where I could just do whatever I wanted, and then do the whole thing over. At the time, I was thinking of cutting class to go to the Crest and buy gumballs and Garbage Pail Kids and stickers and fake dog doo, but that doesn’t mean that it was a juvenile wish. No, recently, I’ve realized that I could still use a do-over day. It’s just that I’d use it a little differently.
Here are some of the things I’d do if I could just erase a whole day when I was through and start over:
1. Cut off all my hair immediately and go back to my cute (but difficult to grow out) Rosemary’s Baby haircut of a decade ago.
2. “OK, I can meet with you briefly, but I’m going to have to jump off this call at 2:30. I have to call my friend so that we can talk about boys.”
3. Lie in bed til noon. Don’t call anyone to tell them that I’m going to be out. Don’t explain to anyone when I get up.
4. “I’d love to go out, but I’m terribly fickle and not good at confrontation. So what do you say we date for, like, three weeks?”
5. Eat an entire block of cheese as it were a sandwich.
6. “I’d love to continue talking to you, but I’m afraid that I just don’t care about anything important. Please go away.”