The Poor Pope

Catholic pals of mine, clear something up for me: the Pope can’t quit, can he? I’m only asking because apparently he missed Mass today and seems to be nearly dead and I feel sorry for him.

I mean, for reals. Airline pilots have mandatory retirement at age 60, but we can’t phase the pope out at, say, 80? Are you really telling me that the spiritual leader of EVERY CATHOLIC IN THE WORRRRLD has to keep on going and going and going like some kind of demented Energizer Bunny? Is this wise? He’ll be crushed to death by his hat soon. Have mercy.

Published by Jen Hubley Luckwaldt

I'm a freelance writer and editor.

3 thoughts on “The Poor Pope

  1. He can in fact resign…but the stubborn bastard won’t!There’s historical precedent…he’d become sort of a “pope emeritus”…

    All of which is just holding me up from taking over the reins. soon enough…soon enough

  2. from what my sources tell me, the clear plastic box that he is transported in for public appearences is actually an anti gravity chamber, to prevent said death by hat crushing

  3. may i suggest for your taxes its basically turbo tax, only cheaper, and i used it this year and breezed through the process.

    on a tangent, i am currently in amsterdam, and although i have been here before, the red light district never ceases to amaze me. so, i pose this question to you: what is your take on legalization of drugs/prostitution? i myself believe that both actually have a negative impact on society. i read the book “The Natashas” on the flight over, and cant help but wonder how many of the girls in the amsterdam windows are actually slaves (i would guess the majority, as a high % appear to be eastern european, the hub of the sex slave trade).

    and on legalization: anyone who has roamed around amsterdam would have a hard time believing that legalization actually has a postivie impact on society. i know those that like to smoke hooch (and believe me, i have done my share of experimenting with drugs so i am by no means a holier than thou type of guy) would like to believe that the world would be a better place if pot was legalized, but i have never seen so many wandering junkies and dealers hocking “hard” drugs (coke, heroin) in my life as i have in amsterdam (and that includes washington square NYC).


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