Various news outlets: Blogging is cool

So, according to a number of news outlets that are important but too hard to look up when I have a sniffle, blogging is the thing of the year. You thought it was nipples, but no, it’s blogging. Sorry.

I was shocked too, because the last time I checked, blogging had been around for like, a million years now. Or at least a million hours, which is the same thing in Internet time. Anyway, my point is that blogging is not new. The way you can tell this is that I’m doing it, which means that it could not possibly be cutting edge. I fear new technology. I just got a DVD player and I’m starting to think about maybe getting an iPod. But only if my sister uses hers for another three months without getting electrocuted.

In other, totally unrelated news, I’m very glad the holidays are over. I am now so fat that the outer edge of my thigh feels like it’s about a hundred miles away from the part of my leg I am actually conscious of owning. It feels like I’m wearing inflatable pants. Fortunately, I have the evil cold that’s going around, so I don’t feel like eating anything. I know you’ve been dying to know how I’ve been feeling, both physically and emotionally, so I’m telling you.

Attention, various news outlets. This is what blogging is really all about: The state of my health and self esteem. I understand that some people use their blogs to discuss politics and current events, but I honestly don’t know how anyone finds the time, in between worrying about what horrible diseases they might have, Googling boys they have crushes on, and monitoring their pants size. It’s exhausting to think about, frankly. I might have to go lie down.

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