Viva Capitalism

This weekend, my friend Metal Eric suggested that if it were the 1950s, I would most likely be a communist.

“Oh no, I would not,” I said. “I would not be a communist in any kind of a way.”

“You wouldn’t? That surprises me.”

“No. Nope. Not at all. I mean, don’t get me wrong: I want people to have health insurance, and social security. I believe that society has some responsibility for protecting people who can’t protect themselves, and so on.”

“So you’d be more of a socialist, maybe.”

“Eh, not really. And here’s why: When it comes right down to it, I don’t want everyone to have the same things. I want things to be level, at a certain point – no poverty, education for everyone, etc. But I also want, by dint of hard work and good luck, to have a little bit more than they do.”

“Ah.”

“I want to drive by their hovels in a limo with my ass hanging out the window, basically.”

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