Someone recently got to the ole blogge by Googling “and you look like you would be sticky if.” Please complete the sentence in the comments and you will win absolutely nothing at all. (My love is free.)
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Jennie Smash 
…i hadn’t moved that bucket of old stamp residue from the top of your new front door.
Mail Me!
it were 10 degrees outside ( you know, with the chronic perspiration affliction ).
You were a metaphorical diseased leper who was just run over by a metaphorical steam roller.