It’s not that I believe in astrology. It’s just that I can’t really plan my month until my horoscope goes up.
Fortunately, I have friends who share my looney fascination:
Me: ‘Scopes!
Donut: Where? I see nothing.
Me: I know. I’m complaining. No ‘scopes! What am I to do?
(Five hours later.)
Donut: That lazy whore.
Me: I know. It’s tragic.
(Three hours later.)
Me: Susan Miller and I are breaking up.
Donut: BITCH BETTER POST SOON.
I’m glad I’m not a public person.
Jennie Smash 
Leos aren’t known for patience.
Psst. Guess who’s back?
Your personalized horoscope keeps popping up on my google homepage.
-Mrs. P.
Yikes, I’m not the only one who reads Susan Miller’s ‘scopes before planning a trip or a visit to a bar? And yeah, she does sometimes drag her psychic feet, doesn’t she. Bitch.
http://www.cainer.com/ updates the day before.
http://www.jacquelinebigar.com/astrocolumns.htm usually updates before 6am
both of them are spooky accurate
Sorry for the double posts, but I just noticed that Jacky also does monthly and yearly (!) horoscopes, though I can only attest to the accuracy of her dailys.
Jon wants money for anything above and beyond his daily horoscope and a week ahead thing he does on fridays, but he’s always ahead of schedule and he’s not a bad read.
My hope is that at least one half of your gemininess is not crazy enough to beleive in the scopes