crazy in my headbone – Page 3

Sicker Than That, Even

Recently, like everyone else on earth, I have been sicker than I’ve ever been before. It started out a month ago with the flu, which turned into bronchitis. Then I went to get my allergy shots, had a weirdo reaction and wound up with a giant arm. This was bad, because it looked like oneContinue reading “Sicker Than That, Even”

How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Being a Hypochondriac

By the time I got on the bus to go to Boston last Thursday, I knew something was very wrong with the ol’ bod. This in itself is not strange. I’m a hypochondriac, so I’m using running my inner diagnostics, trying to figure out if that itch or this pain means imminent death. What wasContinue reading “How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Being a Hypochondriac”

When People Ask How I Became a Yoga Addict, This Is What I Will Tell Them

Short version: Because I was crazy. Long version: Because I was crazy and living in a city full of crazies. And all of us crazies think our drama is terribly important. Which only leads to more crazy. I was thinking about this today, because I did yoga this morning and, as usual, had a mildContinue reading “When People Ask How I Became a Yoga Addict, This Is What I Will Tell Them”

Hard to Believe I’m Single

me: roooooooosss rooooo kangaroossss roooonsRoss: you out to get me? invisibly? hi thereme: rooooo i had to go invisible i’m being stalked. not in a fun way not with the great charm with which i’m stalking you Ross: oh damn. you got t o make the joke before i did. he’s still sticking to itContinue reading “Hard to Believe I’m Single”

OId Age Setting in

I woke up at 6:30 this morning for no apparent reason. Well, actually, that’s not entirely true: I woke up at 6:30 this morning because I went to bed at 9:30 last night. I’m no doctor, but I’m pretty sure that’s enough sleep for anyone. It’s pretty amazing that I managed this, though, because myContinue reading “OId Age Setting in”

Crazy Runs in the Family

So, Spitzer, yeah? I’ve got stuff to say about that, but it’s kinda whiny, so let’s put that aside for now and talk about how geedee crazy each and every member of my family is. In the most lovable way possible, of course. This Saturday, I was out on a pub crawl when I gotContinue reading “Crazy Runs in the Family”

Conversation From Lunch

Lauren: You’re insane about that hand sanitizer. Me: I know. Lauren: Do you use that every time you touch money? Me: Yup. Or ride the subway. Or touch a doorknob. Lauren: That I get. But … money? Really? Me: Lauren, money is covered with poop and cocaine.Sue: That’s true, you know. I read that somewhere.

Chicken Little

I don’t want to alarm anyone, but I feel I should mention that it is now getting darker at an earlier hour than ever before. This is not hyperbole, but actual fact, observed by me, and confirmed by all of my friends and coworkers who wish I would shut up and leave them alone. IContinue reading “Chicken Little”

NaNoWriMo Is Turning Me Into a Crank

The neighbors are cooking something that smells for all the world like parakeet droppings. I’m starting to really hope that I’m having a stroke instead, because otherwise, those poor souls really shouldn’t be allowed to cook for themselves. I did see other humans today, you’ll be happy to hear. (Do these posts seem at allContinue reading “NaNoWriMo Is Turning Me Into a Crank”

Artichoke Preparedness and You

My hummus wrap this afternoon had artichokes in it. Now, understand, I’m not against artichokes, but I do feel that one should be prepared for them. There is nothing worse than encountering an artichoke that you’re not ready for. With this in mind, I would like to offer, from the depths of my neuroses, severalContinue reading “Artichoke Preparedness and You”