So, Saturday night an irish guy tried to pick me up by singing and complimenting me, which was entertaining, but my Friday night bar experience was, in many ways, more educational. My attorney and I went out to a few bars, and at the last place we went, she met this cool-seeming guy and started chatting with him. I am an excellent wingperson, so I started talking to his friend, to give Horowitz time to work her magic. Anyway, his friend was pretty stoned, fairly young, and determined to get me to come home with him.
STONED GUY: C’mon home with me. C’mon. We’ll smoke some mad weed.
ME: Oooh, tempting. But no.
SG: Oh c’mon. Oh c’mon. Oh c’mon. Listen. Listen. Listenlistenlistenlisten. You’re really pretty, okay? And you should just go come back to my place. And smoke weed.
ME: Um, no.SG: Whyyyy? Whyyyy? Whyyyy? Oh COME ON. Listen…
And so on. The evening culminated in him forcing his phone number on me and then telling me that in his opinion, my lipstick was too bright. The hell? That kind of talk gets no one laid, buddy.Anyway, my point is that I’ve noticed some interesting trends in guys’ approaches in bars. A year or two ago, they were trying to give you their e-mail addresses, or get yours. This was good, because it was less threatening that trying to get your phone number, so it probably worked a good bit of the time. Unfortunately, it must not have helped them to achieve their ultimate goal, or something, because now, they’re just flat out trying to get you to come home with them. My friend Matt, who has a girlfriend and has my e-mail address and is not trying to get me to come home with him, has suggested that Maxim must’ve had an article lately on this new approach, suggesting that guys just go for the gusto. It’s all very interesting, and when I write my book, I will help you all to understand this and many other fascinating urban dating phenomena.