When I Grow Up, I Hope to Stop Worrying About This One Thing

It’s getting in trouble. There, social media previewers, I saved you a click.

I’ve spent most of my life worrying that I’ll get in trouble with authority figures ranging from teachers and parents to bosses and clients. I’m a born rule follower who became a writer, meaning that I’m a type A person who’s chosen a sort of unconventional working life, and so I spend a lot of my time coping with low-grade anxiety and fear of disappointing someone important … but I have no idea who that person is.

Now that I’m a grownup by any measure — I’m old, I’m responsible for a human baby, etc. — you’d think I’d stop worrying about that. After all, I have plenty of other things to worry about. But no. My problem now is that I’m worried about failing to live up to expectations I can’t define.

This might just be adulthood (late onset variety). Or maybe I’m just not enlightened yet, and when I reach the next stage of my emotional and spiritual development, I’ll be able to become my own mental boss and worry only about living up to my own expectations. I really don’t know. But if I figure it out, you can bet I’ll be making my fortune off that self-help book.

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I NEED AN ADULT. (Ian Espinosa/Unsplash)

 

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