Jennie Smash

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By

Jen Hubley Luckwaldt

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Thanks, But I’ll Just Keep Ruining My Underwear

This grosses me out more than I can say. I love having my period. I love overeating and I love lying around and I love the excuse to use a heating pad. Most of all, though, I love complaining. And I love that no one can tell me not to complain, because they’re all too…

This grosses me out more than I can say.

I love having my period. I love overeating and I love lying around and I love the excuse to use a heating pad. Most of all, though, I love complaining. And I love that no one can tell me not to complain, because they’re all too terrified that I’ll fly into some hormonally induced homicidal rage.

Oh, but Jennie, you say. If you love your period so much, whatever will you do when you reach menopause?

I’ll throw a party and buy all new underpants. Because then it will be time for not having my period, y’see. It will be not-having-my-period time. Unlike now.

In the meantime, however, I’d appreciate it if science would leave me and Aunt Flo alone.

Via Jezebel, which you need to start reading immediately.

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Responses to “Thanks, But I’ll Just Keep Ruining My Underwear”

  1. Jay

    Welcome home, Jennie.

    Reply
  2. The Distant One

    Interesting article…

    Research does seem to indicate that well fed women do menstruate more frequently, it’s true, and the pill that gives you a “quartely” period might be a weird simulacrum of historical biology, but it is completely artifical.

    As a man who actually spends kind of a lot of time talking about periods, bleeding, swollen breasts, etc, I know that a good portion of my female friends would kiss their periods good bye with no regrets… others of them on the pill like the reassurance of a monthly bleed, so they don’t worry about being pregnant…

    but i don’t know if any of them are quite as gleeful about being on the rag as you, Ms. Smash.

    But that’s why we love you.
    Because you’re strange.

    Reply

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