Jennie Smash

By

Jen Hubley Luckwaldt

·

I also have a lovely singing voice

I cope with stress really, really well. So when the tow truck guy didn’t believe that our address was correct, I handled it with grace and aplomb. “I’m standing in front of a sign that says I’m at 325 Huntington Ave.” I told him. “Is your guy standing in front of a sign that says…

I cope with stress really, really well. So when the tow truck guy didn’t believe that our address was correct, I handled it with grace and aplomb.

“I’m standing in front of a sign that says I’m at 325 Huntington Ave.” I told him. “Is your guy standing in front of a sign that says he’s at 325 Huntington Ave.?”

The tow truck driver said that he was.

“Well, then we’ve got some kind of a problem, because I don’t know what other address to give you. I mean, if they’re just going to start posting signs with fictious addresses on them, then I guess we’re all just hopelessly lost, aren’t we?”

I’m going to spare you the play by play. Here’s the summary: we went back and forth for quite some time, as I got more irate, and he got more patronizing, and finally, I used the F word.

Don’t ever use the F word with a tow truck driver. You might as well strap on your sneakers and start walking home.

Three hours later, when the tow truck driver arrived, I had wept away all my anger and was prepared to wash and wax his truck if he’d just fix the tire. Not that I had to wash and wax anything, because it was pouring out. POURING. My coat smells like a drunk lama and my hair is STILL frizzy.

Oh, and the sign I was standing in front of? Was wrong. Let this be a lesson to you all. When you think you’re most right, you’re probably dead wrong.

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Responses to “I also have a lovely singing voice”

  1. Anonymous

    Well, at the risk of offending you in this day and age of equality among the sexes, i must ask, did you have a spare tire, and if so, why didnt you change it yourself.

    PS: you might want to pickup a can of inflatable fix a flat also.

    PSS: the day chicks can change their own tires, will be the day that they no longer make $.60 for ever $1 a man makes.

    Reply
  2. Jennie SMASH!

    Omigod … fix it MYSELF? I had no idea. Jeez. I really wish you’d been there on Sunday, at not-325 Huntington Ave., to tell me what to do.

    Listen, jackass: I can’t even walk up a flight of stairs without tripping. Do you think it’s really a good idea for me to get underneath a 2000 pound hunk of metal and start fiddling with lug nuts?

    I didn’t think so.

    Reply
  3. Anonymous

    and consequently the reason why women are the weaker gender (yeah yeah yeah, you give birth, try squeezing a meatloaf out of our penis, you gals have a higher threshhold for pain…blah blah blah, i have heard it all before): not only can they not change their own tire, they get emotional when you point that fact out to them.

    i really was only kidding, you didnt need to call me a jackass. if i wasnt a guy you might have hurt my feelings.

    Reply
  4. Megs

    I don’t believe she was being emotional. She was merely pointing out the obvious: you are a jackass.

    Reply
  5. Anonymous

    Re: Not a guy.

    Except you gave it away in your previous paragraph, with the us vs. them use of “you.”

    At least admit you’re a dude. How lame.

    –KB

    Reply
  6. Anonymous

    Oy, I was so annoyed, I read that wrong. Oh well, Mr. Anonymous, I’ll just get all emotional and call all my weak girlfriends and we’ll talk about you and how unfair you are.
    –KB

    Reply
  7. Anonymous

    OK Megs, she wasnt being emotional, so in addition to being a deuchbag i can now see that you are also delusional.

    Reply
  8. Jennie SMASH!

    Ah, but at least she can spell “douche-bag.”

    Reply
  9. Anonymous

    As a different Anonymous, I just wanted to point out that line “if they’re just going to start posting signs with fictious addresses on them, then I guess we’re all just hopelessly lost, aren’t we?”

    And then it was a wrong sign.

    Therefore, we are all lost.

    Reply

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