Michael Moore has made my list, and I don’t mean Christmas Card.
A few nights ago, at about one in the morning, my phone rang. For some reason, I’d left it by my bed, so all I had to do was reach over groggily and pick it up off my night table. The little caller ID monitor showed my sister’s number in Tacoma. Thoroughly freaked, I picked up right away.
“Hello? Are you okay?” My brother-in-law is in Iraq. My sister is thousands of miles away, all alone and terrified, with nothing to do but worry about her husband.
On the other end of the phone, muffled sobbing. All my internal organs tried to climb up my throat.
“Is John okay?”
Through her tears, she told me that he was. The problem, it turned out, was that she’d Netflixed Fahrenheit 9/11, and so now she was afraid of the following: that something bad would happen to John, that he was embroiled in evil, and doing terrible things to innocent Iraqis. My field of vision immediately went red, just like in the Popeye cartoons.
Speaking of Red: I nearly am, in case you’re wondering. I’m so liberal, I’m practically a communist. I am not, however, a fan of Michael Moore’s, and here’s why: I firmly believe that Michael Moore is much more interested in furthering his own career than he is in telling the truth about anything. And like our illustrious leader G.W. “Motherfucker” Bush, he’s willing to terrify people if it helps his cause. In fact, if you ask me, Moore and Bush should get together and go bowling. Or move to Mass. and get married. Because they’re pretty much two ends of the same horrifying political phenomenom: Vote with your terror, not with your mind, or even your heart.
The next day, Meg heard from her husband, who told her that while he can’t of course talk about what he’s doing in Iraq, that the stuff he and his men are involved in are changing Iraqi lives for the better. I believe that. I didn’t support this war, but now that we’re there, I think guys like John can really make a difference. Iraq has a police force now, I think for the first time ever. They have some semblance of democracy. And while I don’t approve of us just running pell mell into any political mess that begs sweeping up, I’m not shedding any tears over old Saddam.
Just don’t try to tell me that we invaded because of Al Qaeda. They’re in a cave somewhere with Injun Joe and we have no fucking idea where they are. But that’s another blog entry.