Parking lot derby

I work in an open office, which blows. You can never shut your door and escape, and you can you have to listen to other people fight with their loved ones all day long on the phone. Also, just try to make a doctor’s appointment. It can’t be done.

“Hi, this is J. Smash, and I’d like to schedule my pap smear. Oh, hi, boss-type person. Hang on. Just making sure the ole cooch is in working order, know what I’m sayin’?”

Nevertheless, my seating situation is pretty good. Our desks are just sort of scattered around this big warehouse space, but mine faces a window. Luck of the draw. I have a lovely view … of our parking lot.

This affords me with plenty of distraction during the day, something I need desperately, of course. I was thinking for awhile of keeping a log of everyone’s comings and goings, and then reading it out loud when they passed by my desk.

“11:45: Jane Shaw leaves for lunch. Despite only having come to work an hour and a half ago. What? This? Oh, it’s nothing. Just think of it as evidence.”

I don’t have time for that sort of thing, of course. But I do have time for my next plan. Some of the sales guys have really fancy cars. (The editorial staff drive beaters, as a rule, but I’m sure you guessed that.) The sales guys who are really crazy about their cars park them way at the far end of the parking lot, like a quarter-mile away from the door, so that no one will park anywhere near them. There’s one car in particular, some kind of fancy bright-yellow sports car, that’s always parked waaaay over by the dumpster all by its onesies.

What I want to do is to follow that car around and park right next to it. When I get here in the morning, if the car’s there, I’ll park beside it. If the guy who owns it isn’t in yet, I’ll keep an eye peeled through the window and dash out and move my car as soon as he arrives. Then, if he moves it after lunch, I’ll move mine, too.

This could be a lot of fun! I’ll keep you posted.


3 thoughts on “Parking lot derby

  1. Anonymous

    That is a GREAT idea…it would be even better if you work in a multicompany office building, and could enlist someone that he doesnt know (but you do, and who works for a different business) to park next to him instead. it would probably provide endless amusement while you listen to him talk about “i dont know why that f#ck needs to park his/her piece of sh#t next to my _________” (probably while he stares out the window at the very cars about which he speaks).

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