I have a ginormo presentation tomorrow, and I should be freaked out about it, but I’ve spent so much time tinkering with PowerPoint that I can’t really get exercised about the whole thing. I would like to think that this is because I have a great deal of confidence in my abilities, but I suspect that I am exhausted. (Although I do have a lot of confidence in my abilities. It’s going to rock, this presentation. Let’s all say the mantra: Ihavealotofconfidenceinmyabilities, Ihavealotofconfidenceinmyabilities, Ihavealotofconfidenceinmyabilities…)
Here’s the thing about me and these presentations: They require math, and I am just not a math person. I am almost entirely right-brained. Here are some things I am good at:
Making things up.
Meeting new people.
Making new people like me, whether they want to or not.
Ignoring the pathology in the above statement. La la la.
The making things up thing can be a problem, because while I never precisely lie, my stories tend to get out of hand. For example, the other day, I told someone that my father plays the bagpipes. Now, I’m pretty sure he can play the bagpipes. He’s almost obnoxiously musical. He can play guitar and violin and drums and the harp and an astonishing array of recorders, tin whistles and flutes. Why not the bagpipe as well? Because he doesn’t have one. That’s why. Lies!
Anyway, back to my point. I’m right-brained, not left. For example, here are some things I am not good at:
Finding my way anywhere, no matter how many times I’ve been there. (This extends to woefully simple things like coming out of the subway the right way, and so on.)
Math of any kind, especially “simple” arithmetic, ho ho.
PowerPoint, fer crysakes.
I spend most of my professional life doing things I really love, which is what they promised me in school, if I was very patient and got all A’s and was an intern for years and so on. (Lies again: They told me I’d have to move to cheaper state and become a waitress, since it was clear that writing was my only skill.)
But presentations, arrghh! So not my strong suit. How bad is it? Well, let me tell you. It’s like this: Someone from the research department will try to explain some formula or methodology to me, and I’ll blink at them a minute and then say something like: “I LIKE YOUR SHIRT, CUZ IT HAS DOTS! DO YOU LIKE ICE CREAM? LET’S SIT IN THE SUN! I SEE A BUTTERFLY!”
It’s really very impressive.